outstanding and perfect at something when the truth is, he is not. What happens when the child discovers he is not the fastest runner, or the best artist in the world or the most gorgeous child on the planet? The child begins to doubt his place in this world and wonders why mom or dad has bestowed false confidence in him. Unfortunately, the end result is low self esteem. Ask any educator and you will get the same answer - children with high self esteem are not easily frustrated, they believe they have control over their lives, they behave appropriately and are proud of themselves and their actual accomplishments. Children with low self esteem are easily led, they blame others when something goes wrong, they are quickly frustrated and they avoid challenging situations.

Have you ever seen the look on the face of a child who just got his first hit in a baseball game after striking out many times? Have you ever seen the glow in the eyes of a child who passes her first spelling test after studying for the first time? This is when real self esteem begins. Self esteem comes from learning that by working hard and trying your best you can accomplish a task. The accomplishment gives the child confidence to try another difficult task. Self esteem is interactive. As you accomplish your goals you learn that hard work and persistence do pay off. You become confident in your abilities and feel good about yourself so you strive for higher goals; now you have developed true self esteem.

Give your child opportunities to develop competencies. Encourage your three year old to pick up his toys and then compliment him on his efforts. His efforts will improve. Applaud your child’s efforts to become a better ball player, dancer or musician and comment on her hard work and improvement. Support your child’s study efforts and note the improvement in her test results. Allow your child the freedom and respect to make mistakes and to learn from them. When you do everything for your children they learn you don’t trust their abilities and they come to believe they cannot achieve to your expectations. Instead, set realistic goals, help your child work towards those goals and applaud her efforts.

Every one of these students accepted responsibility for their own actions. When children know they are loved and they are confident in their own abilities they also learn to be responsible for their actions. This is an empowering lesson. Children learn what they think, feel and do is important. They learn that they have control over their lives and they learn that what happens to them isn’t because of what others say and do. When parents blame the teacher for everything that happens to the child, the child believes he has no power. However, when a child assumes responsibility for his own behavior the possibility for success is greatly increased. Unfortunately, there will be times…