You are the first and best teacher your child will ever have. He will have classroom teachers he admires, coaches he honors and mentors he respects but there will never be another person in his life like you. A young child is a sponge; soaking up everything you say and, most importantly, everything you do. Your words and actions will influence who he is today and who he will become tomorrow.

I have worked with hundreds of young people who have become very accomplished in their lives, people who would meet any definition of success. They all had a few basic things in common, things so simple that one could overlook them as important predictors of future performance. I wish I could give you a recipe for success but life isn’t that easy. It is filled with uncertainty and change that have an impact on us and our children but if you consider these five characteristics of high achieving students you will be able to help your child become one of them.

Every one of these children received unconditional love. Every child deserves parents who love him unconditionally; love him simply because he was born, love her because she exists not because of what she achieves. There will be many times when you do not like what your child has done but you love her anyway. Love does not have to be earned it is a right. When children grow up knowing they do not risk losing your love because of what they do or don’t do, they are free to fail and so they will take risks in learning and succeed.

We all make mistakes, even those “other kids”, the ones who always seem perfect, have their moments. When a child knows you will always be there to love and support her she is able to come to you when things go wrong. You will have opportunities to help your child learn life lessons and your child will learn to build relationships based on trust and not fear.

Every one of these children had high self esteem. I don’t mean the kind of meaningless self esteem that comes from always being told you are great even if you are not particularly great but the self esteem earned through competence. The meaning of self esteem has become muddled. Many parents have been led to believe that self esteem is something you can bestow upon your child. They assume that telling little Billy he is the best at something will make it so. In fact, some parents go so far as to try to manipulate anyone and everything in their child’s path to continue the illusion that the child is excellent, fantastic, …